IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY SISTER

August 28th marks the two year anniversary  of losing my sister.  She's been on my mind all month.  I still think of the birthdays I celebrated at Lawrence Welk with her.   I still miss them.  I still  visit different places and think "she should be here with us.". Has it gotten easier?  No.  Is it a little more bearable?  Yes.  I have come to terms with the fact that my life will never be the same; there will always be an empty spot.  I miss being able to tell her what is going on in my life.  I'm retiring in two weeks; it was going to allow us to spend more time with each other....now she is not here.  I think of her all the time.  I miss her all the time.  I always will.  She was instrumental in my life...she mentored me, she supported me, she encouraged me, she took care of me, and, most importantly, she just loved me for me, unconditionally.  Who could ask for more?  I am so thankful for having her, but, as I've said before, it wasn't long enough.  She left behind two wonderful kids, and five grandkids, one she never met.  I love them with all my heart; they are a part of my sister.  I know she would be so proud of "her" family. They are awesome. So, Sis, here are a few highlights of the past year, and the things I've missed talking about with you:

You have another grandson, Luke, he is too cute.

We spent Thanksgiving with Bobby and Megan, and Megan set a beautiful table and prepared a delicious dinner.

We lost our cousin, Jenny, to cancer.  She is with you now.

I talk to Janet all the time.  That probably would never have happened without you.  We prop each other up now and then, and she keeps me posted on the rest of the family.  You and her always were better at keeping up with everyone.

I spent eight days with Tricia, and we both kept saying how neat it would have been if you had been there with us.  I guess that's why you should live life everyday and stop procrastinating!

Ryan is getting so big, he started first grade, and, much to your horror, he loves his school charge card, where he can charge his lunch.  He caught on how as to use it very quickly, and it has caused some problems for him.  He remembers you the most, I think.  I always felt that you and he had a special bond.

Noah, our terminator, is now in preschool, and loving it.  I think he got in trouble his first day of Tiny Tots for talking too much.  P. S. I think Megan is loving both the kids being in school, and it gives her special time with Luke.  They visited us this year and it was so much fun.

Megan and Tim and Bobby and Rachel are awesome parents.  You would be proud.

Bobby is still performing, and loving it.  He has had some traffic problems this year!  He and Rachel are working hard on planting their church.  They are a true asset to their community.

Caleb is starting kindergarten this year, where did the time go?

Micah is looking more like Bobby everyday.  I wish I got to see more of Caleb and Micah.

They hosted a foreign exchange student this year, like mother, like son.

Travis is doing great in Chiropractic school.  I am so proud of him.  I know it is a struggle and hard on the whole family.  Sometimes I worry about them; those conversations I was able to have with you when I was worried are probably the ones I miss the most.

Zach and Zoey are getting so big, and I cherish every minute I get to spend with them.  I still go there twice a year.  Trav and Traci are trying to decide where to settle when he finishes school.  I hope they stay on the Southwest route, whatever they do!!!

I just celebrated my 60th birthday, and you were constantly on my mind because we never got to celebrate yours.  Not to worry, I think I had three different celebrations, so I shall dedicate one to you!!!

Like I said, I am retiring this year, which makes losing you so much harder.

JR picked up another day of golf because I am retiring…….works for me!

JR and I plan on going to Turks and Caicos next year, as well as New York.

I just had my week in Phoenix with Cindy.  Remember, you were supposed to go with us in 2010?  We had lots of laughs, as usual.

So much happens within a year, much of which I can't remember.  As you can see, we are all doing fine; but I still miss you every day and always will.

With love always,
Your sis

ONE YEAR

It's been a hard week, knowing that I would be facing the one year anniversary of my sister's death on the 28th. Even though I have tried not to dwell on it, my innermost thoughts must not be cooperating. I have dreamed about her for the last three nights, which I actually like; however, I can hardly wait for the dreams to come where she is not sick. Anyway, to get to the point I decided to read my blog, which I haven't done in a while. All I can say is, what a God send these blogs are, they brought back some very good memories, I had forgotten about. They are like keeping a journal for those of us who are too lazy to take pen to paper. Wow, all the fun things we did together just never seem to pop into my mind as often as the last year of her life. I know that eventually the good times will come more than the bad, but right now that is not the case. I miss my sister's companionship, I am so lonesome without her. I know I have other people in my life that love me, but it is not the same relationship. Sometimes I wonder if my sister misses me, there are so many unanswered questions about life after death, depending on who you talk to and their beliefs. The other morning as I was drying my hair I was thinking about what it would be like to meet Donna up in heaven (yes, I believe there is some place we will see each other again) and it brought tears to my eyes to think about throwing myself into her arms, with my parents standing behind her with big smiles on their faces as they witnessed how much we loved each other. This morning I woke up crying, thinking about the last days of her life, laying in bed with her, holding her, and telling her much I loved her and what a good sister she had been to me. I will never get over the loss of my sister, but I hope in time I will start remembering all our good times and they will bring a smile to my face instead of tears to my eyes. I hope my sister is in heaven having the time of her life, but I hope she misses me too! I love you Donna, forever and ever.

MY SISTER

TO MY SISTER

Donna,

You left us four months ago, and it still hurts so bad. I think of you day and night. Today is Christmas Eve, and my heart is heavy. I know you want us all to be happy, and we all trying really hard, but there are times that hurt, and this is one of them for me.

I sit in front of the computer going through all my pictures and looking at all the fun times we had together; our Mexican cruise, our trip to Costa Rica, our MANY trips to Las Vegas, and all our trips to each other's house.

I constantly hear you in my head, and still carry on conversations with you.

I can hear you saying:

The more the merrier! Megan is carrying on that tradition!

Don't sweat the small stuff. I'm still not so good at that.

Family is the most important. We all learned that one well.

I remember the past year so vividly once we learned of your cancer. I try to remember what you said to me more than once "I'm at peace with whatever happens." Everything happened so fast after that; I still can't believe it. I am so grateful that we got to tell each other how much we loved each other. I know we aggravated each other to death, but I also know that, as we told each other often, how much we truly loved and meant to each other. I am so grateful to have had you in my life for 58 years, but, selfishly, I think that is not enough. You had turned into my best friend over the past several years. Losing you has left an empty spot in my heart that I can't seem to fill.

I remember when I would be bummed about something and you would be worried about me and I would tell you not to worry and you would say: "I have to, I'm your big sister, I have to take care of you." Boy, I wish you were here taking care of me now!

It's funny, I remember wishing I could be as strong as you. You went through a lot in your life, and always carried on. I remember Nicki singing the song Hero at Vic's funeral, yet every time I hear it, it brings tears to my eyes, because I always thought the words were more about you. You always had the strength to carry on.

I pray for that strength now. Some days are so much harder than others for some reason.

I'm sure you know you raised two awesome kids. We are so taking care of each other right now. It is so funny, they make sure to call me on certain days (like your birthday) to make sure I am doing ok. All they are going through, and they have time to worry about me. I am trying so hard to be there for them. I know I can never take your place, but I am as close as they will get to that. I remember you lying in the hospital bed telling me that you what you were concerned about if you died was leaving the kids and grandkids; you weren't worried about yourself. And, then you tell the kids that you are worried about how I will take it if something happened to you. You made sure that we would all take care of each other, and we have.

You taught the kids traditions that are still being carried on today……the trip to Disneyland every Christmas and Christmas morning breakfast.

I know how disappointed you are that you do not get to see your grandkids grow up. You were one of the proudest grandmas I have ever seen. I can remember you telling me that even if you didn't feel 100% you couldn't tell Megan because then she wouldn't bring the kids over for you to babysit. And, boy, did you have a knack with those kids. You made it look as easy as pie. The minute Megan walked out the door, out came all the kids' favorite foods!

I wish you a Merry Christmas, and thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you were to me throughout my life. You were the best sister, and I will love you forever.

Your Sister, Linda

WOW, WHAT HAPPENED TO 2009?

OK, I know blogs are boring without pics, but I am too lazy to download them so you'll have to bear with me. It seems I left off in June.....where did the time go? July we met Taylor in Las Vegas and had a blast, she is so much fun, we swam, did the strip and shopped. August we went to Kansas to help Trav and the family while he had surgery. Thankfully, all went well. We missed our annual pilgrimage to Lawrence Welk, hopefully, this year! My girlfriend and I made our annual trip to Phoenix to shop until we dropped. I always have so much fun on this trip and hope they will continue. October, JJ, JR, and I flew to Kansas and the boys (JJ, JR, Trav, and Zach) took in a Chargers/Chiefs game. It was Zach's first pro game and he was beyond ecstatic. November....went through surgery with my sister and will continue to see her through her journey. December, back to San Diego for Christmas with the families. It was fun, but tiring. New Years Eve celebrated my Mom's bday for her; however, brought the New Year in more quietly and earlier than she used to. What can I say, I can't hang! New Years Day JR made menudo and Sig, Tammy, Maya, and George came over. Wish I could have kidnapped my sister, that was my plan earlier in the year. We managed to go through 2-1/4 magnums of champagne, 1/2 a bottle, more or less, of tequila, and a few martinis. Needless to say, my head hurt today, but I had a nice, quiet, uneventful day today, which I love!!! All in all, 2009 has had its share of ups and downs, but I have learned that my family is awesome. I have learned so much about my family that I didn't know, so with the bad, comes the good. We begin this year propping each other up, but it feels good. Please appreciate your friends and families as you start 2010, I don't know what I would do without mine. For now I wish everyone a happy and healthy New Year.

BUSY WEEKEND!

It was a busy weekend...we went to Green Valley Ranch (GVR) Resort for some R&R.

Friday night we went to our favorite spot in Vegas, Town Square, wherein lies the Blue Martini (and Sephora), the two happiest places on earth (sorry Mickey). Happy hour for martinis AND food! Yes, pure paradise, what more could you want??? My smores martini speaks for itself, and, yes, it was as good as it looks! (oops, I started drinking it before I decided to take a pic, so it's a little messed up)

Saturday I laid around the pool from eight to noon, then hit happy hour at Hanks at GVR. Yep, you guessed it 1/2 price martinis. Well, we only had two each, but decided neither one of us was capable of keeping track of my NEW Sony Cybershot at the luau we were invited to, so no pics of that. They were drawing five names for a trip to Hawaii, which JR "had a premonition" he was going to win. NOT!

Then Sunday we left early to meet Tammy and Sig at Granny's for a birthday brunch for Sig. It was delicious.

Until next time,

Ciao, Baby!

WAY TOO LONG

OK, I know it's been way too long since I blogged, but you bloggers know how it goes. I really don't even have time to blog now, since I am suppose to be treadmilling. However, I stopped just for a minute to surf my favorite blogs and facebook and got caught up in the moment. My life is pretty much the same, just some short trips here and there, which brings me to why I am blogging. I just remembered a picture I wanted to post on my site from my recent trip to Vegas with John and Donna.  The Blue Martini is one of our favorite happy hours, and the picture below will tell you why!

I mean, doesn't that say it all!

Then, of course, I had to concentrate on the real reason I went, which was to play in a slot tournament. Yep, you guessed it, I lost! But look how hard I'm trying.

Ah, but it was not a complete lost because they feed us breakfast both days and had a very nice dinner for us the last night. 

The dessert was awesome!

Until later,

Ciao, Baby!

I'M GLAD FEBRUARY IS OVER!

Yes, it has been a hard month. Trav, Traci, Zach, and Zoey moved to Kansas. It was kind of stressful, not only because they were leaving, but other issues came up as well. All in all, everything worked out fine....except they are gone. They seem to be enjoying themselves and Zach got to ice skate for the first time today. Check our their blog at www.ttzearly.blogspot.com. After their move, we flew to San Diego for Nino's 90th birthday. We got there Friday afternoon and by Friday night I had a mean case of the flu. By Saturday, JR had it. Poor sis, stuck with two sickkies. Well, we managed to catch our flight back Monday, but were in bed ALL weekend. I finally felt good Tuesday when I went back to work. Well, Wednesday was a different story....not feeling so great, not sure why. My right arm was very sensitive and I thought to myself, good thing it's not my left arm, I'd be worried. Anyway, long story short, I end up with shingles! Not fun, but starting to get better. So far, only got one bad cluster that blistered, two other clusters, but so far no blistering, so I'm assuming the med is working. Only problem, I can't remember if I took it this afternoon or not. Anyway, that is why I am more than ready for February to be over.

Until later,

Ciao Baby