MY SISTER

TO MY SISTER

Donna,

You left us four months ago, and it still hurts so bad. I think of you day and night. Today is Christmas Eve, and my heart is heavy. I know you want us all to be happy, and we all trying really hard, but there are times that hurt, and this is one of them for me.

I sit in front of the computer going through all my pictures and looking at all the fun times we had together; our Mexican cruise, our trip to Costa Rica, our MANY trips to Las Vegas, and all our trips to each other's house.

I constantly hear you in my head, and still carry on conversations with you.

I can hear you saying:

The more the merrier! Megan is carrying on that tradition!

Don't sweat the small stuff. I'm still not so good at that.

Family is the most important. We all learned that one well.

I remember the past year so vividly once we learned of your cancer. I try to remember what you said to me more than once "I'm at peace with whatever happens." Everything happened so fast after that; I still can't believe it. I am so grateful that we got to tell each other how much we loved each other. I know we aggravated each other to death, but I also know that, as we told each other often, how much we truly loved and meant to each other. I am so grateful to have had you in my life for 58 years, but, selfishly, I think that is not enough. You had turned into my best friend over the past several years. Losing you has left an empty spot in my heart that I can't seem to fill.

I remember when I would be bummed about something and you would be worried about me and I would tell you not to worry and you would say: "I have to, I'm your big sister, I have to take care of you." Boy, I wish you were here taking care of me now!

It's funny, I remember wishing I could be as strong as you. You went through a lot in your life, and always carried on. I remember Nicki singing the song Hero at Vic's funeral, yet every time I hear it, it brings tears to my eyes, because I always thought the words were more about you. You always had the strength to carry on.

I pray for that strength now. Some days are so much harder than others for some reason.

I'm sure you know you raised two awesome kids. We are so taking care of each other right now. It is so funny, they make sure to call me on certain days (like your birthday) to make sure I am doing ok. All they are going through, and they have time to worry about me. I am trying so hard to be there for them. I know I can never take your place, but I am as close as they will get to that. I remember you lying in the hospital bed telling me that you what you were concerned about if you died was leaving the kids and grandkids; you weren't worried about yourself. And, then you tell the kids that you are worried about how I will take it if something happened to you. You made sure that we would all take care of each other, and we have.

You taught the kids traditions that are still being carried on today……the trip to Disneyland every Christmas and Christmas morning breakfast.

I know how disappointed you are that you do not get to see your grandkids grow up. You were one of the proudest grandmas I have ever seen. I can remember you telling me that even if you didn't feel 100% you couldn't tell Megan because then she wouldn't bring the kids over for you to babysit. And, boy, did you have a knack with those kids. You made it look as easy as pie. The minute Megan walked out the door, out came all the kids' favorite foods!

I wish you a Merry Christmas, and thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you were to me throughout my life. You were the best sister, and I will love you forever.

Your Sister, Linda