It's been a hard week, knowing that I would be facing the one year anniversary of my sister's death on the 28th. Even though I have tried not to dwell on it, my innermost thoughts must not be cooperating. I have dreamed about her for the last three nights, which I actually like; however, I can hardly wait for the dreams to come where she is not sick. Anyway, to get to the point I decided to read my blog, which I haven't done in a while. All I can say is, what a God send these blogs are, they brought back some very good memories, I had forgotten about. They are like keeping a journal for those of us who are too lazy to take pen to paper. Wow, all the fun things we did together just never seem to pop into my mind as often as the last year of her life. I know that eventually the good times will come more than the bad, but right now that is not the case. I miss my sister's companionship, I am so lonesome without her. I know I have other people in my life that love me, but it is not the same relationship. Sometimes I wonder if my sister misses me, there are so many unanswered questions about life after death, depending on who you talk to and their beliefs. The other morning as I was drying my hair I was thinking about what it would be like to meet Donna up in heaven (yes, I believe there is some place we will see each other again) and it brought tears to my eyes to think about throwing myself into her arms, with my parents standing behind her with big smiles on their faces as they witnessed how much we loved each other. This morning I woke up crying, thinking about the last days of her life, laying in bed with her, holding her, and telling her much I loved her and what a good sister she had been to me. I will never get over the loss of my sister, but I hope in time I will start remembering all our good times and they will bring a smile to my face instead of tears to my eyes. I hope my sister is in heaven having the time of her life, but I hope she misses me too! I love you Donna, forever and ever.
